I don’t know when I became techie, or even if I really am techie.
I am currently trying to set up a grants application submission site and I’ve been at it for several days now. I still can’t seem to arrange it in my head. Usually when I encounter new software, I usually go okay, so how does this go and I usually understand things. Because I’m able to understand the sequence of events, because I’m able to understand that if I create that bit, it creates a different bit. I’m at the stage though where I am completely frustrated with myself because I can’t seem to understand this particular system! I can’t seem to find my rhythm!
I look at it and wonder if I’m doing things right!
I look at it and all my brain wants to do is to say, “Uhmmmmm….???”
Today is shaping up to be…challenging.
It’s barely 9:30 and I’m at my desk feeling like I’ve forgotten so many things — my sensibilities and my brains among them!
I felt horrible when I woke up this morning. My hands hurt, despite being in splints most of the night last night. I was rushing around today because my hands were slowing me down (really must book that operation to have them sorted out sooner rather than later huh?). I thought I’d got myself properly sorted out — makeup done, hair done, the usual jewelry on, that sort of thing. But no, I forgot to put on my pearl studs! I’m the kind of person who needs to have earrings on or else I feel completely naked (I was worse before because I simply had to have earrings AND a watch on)! I have a system of getting ready you see: shower and hair washed, brush my teeth, moisturise (diabetics have to because we tend to have very dry skin), hair done, face cleaned, toned and moisturised, make up done, get dressed, earrings on, necklace on, watch on (no rings at the moment as my fingers are swollen and look like chipolatas because of the carpal tunnel syndrome). But today, I’ve just felt so out of sync.
It turns out, I’ve not just forgotten my earrings. I’ve forgotten my train tickets and bus tickets! Not really a good start to the day. I’ve got that shivery feeling inside me that has always told me that something’s going to happen today. Maybe it’s just paranoia (or the beginnings of a panic attack!). But I kind of feel like I’m going to fall apart today. My first instinct during times like these is to pray for strength, perseverance and the right frame of mind to tackle the day.
Here’s to hoping Thursday isn’t so terrible!
It’s a quiet but very sunny day.
I’m sitting at the registration desk that we’ve been running since Sunday and I feel sleepy. To be honest, am probably more tired than sleepy. It’s quiet, and there’s a lull in activity. I would probably give a lot to get the chance to curl up and take a quick (or not-so-quick) nap.
But that’s not possible when your job is to manage these events. Tomorrow night is going to be a long night! I always joke about the fact that my job is always in the way of me having a life. It used to be a joke, albeit prophetic, but now, I think it’s more a statement of fact!
As the rest of the Christian world celebrates Ash Wednesday, I sit here at my desk trying to breathe in and out slowly. Am feeling very stressed today, you see.
I had a to-do list today, and a schedule. That’s gone down the drain. There are other stressors but those things, I’d rather not talk about. Even thinking about them is making me hyperventilate more!
Why won’t my Wednesday stick to the schedule! Argh!
Photo credit: Stress Paul Stress Ball – http://www.mindgamesdirect.co.uk
I’m working from home today because I need to finish setting up a conference registration site. It’s not difficult to do, but it is fiddly because of the detail that goes into putting in admission items and sessions and making sure all the details tie in properly. It’s difficult while I’m in the office because the phone will occasionally ring and I’ll have to stop what I’m doing. I hate it when that happens because it just means it interrupts my concentration. I do my best work when I’m “in the zone.” The most ideal situation would be me, a computer, lots of tea and coffee and a really quiet environment, with minimal interruptions.
It’s nearly 5PM and I’m taking my first break of the day. I’ve done all that I can from home to make sure everything works the way it’s supposed to work. I’m really pleased with myself because I’ve stayed away from Facebook and Twitter and all the temptations that one is exposed to when working from home. To keep me in a work mode state of mind, I got up at the usual time I get up, prepared to go to work in the same way I did every morning and got dressed. Mind you I was just wearing jeans and a nice blouse, but I felt that if I stayed in jammies, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I got myself a couple of cups of coffee to wake me up and started looking through my work emails, the way I usually would if I was at work. Then at 9AM today, I started to work on the conference registration set up.
I know I should’ve had the TV off, but, oddly enough, I found my thoughts wandering when it was absolutely quiet! I had the next best thing on the background though: the Downton Abbey Christmas special was on a permanent replay. I have Matthew Crawley and Lady Mary to thank really. For some inexplicable reason, their dulcet tones allowed me to hunker down and deal with the tedium that was setting the conference registration.
I think this should be something I should do when I have to set up conference registrations: work from home without interruptions—and the Downton Abbey box set!
This week’s photo challenge is to post a self-portrait. I’m not one to post pictures of myself online (except on Facebook) as I really would much rather be the anonymous 30-something sometimes whiner that I am. So I’ll post a picture of my work desk in the Philippines. It was at a job where I felt the most comfortable in my skin. It was at a place where everyone worked hard because they believed in something and they believed that by working together, they would achieve something great.
I miss the feeling of camaraderie. I miss being respected for who I am and not simply for what I can do so someone else can claim the glory of work well done. I miss my personal space being respected. I miss working in an environment where profanity is not something that one hears every other sentence. I miss being able to work in a quietly productive environment and my need for quiet being respected.
Obviously I don’t work there right now. But I believe that soon I will find the job that fits me. God will take me to it.
It’s funny. I never thought I’d say this but I am dreading tomorrow.
I’ve always looked forward to Fridays because it was the beginning of the weekend. 2 whole days to switch off. But I’m not looking forward to tomorrow because it means having to knuckle down and figure out something technical. I’ve always wondered when I got the stamp on my forehead that said “techie”?
And then today, at work, I was setting up the registration site for one of our conferences and I needed to get information again from a colleague, granted, I should have probably cut and paste it from the information that she gave me, but I didn’t do that. Anyway, I said, “Could you give me that information again?” and I heard her mutter under her breath “Oh for FFS!” That really hit me hard. I’ve put up with a lot of things, and I’ve always made allowances for her. But that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
But I will try not to dwell on that and try my hardest to concentrate on what has to be done tomorrow. And tomorrow, I stick to my to-do list.