I don’t know when I became techie, or even if I really am techie.
I am currently trying to set up a grants application submission site and I’ve been at it for several days now. I still can’t seem to arrange it in my head. Usually when I encounter new software, I usually go okay, so how does this go and I usually understand things. Because I’m able to understand the sequence of events, because I’m able to understand that if I create that bit, it creates a different bit. I’m at the stage though where I am completely frustrated with myself because I can’t seem to understand this particular system! I can’t seem to find my rhythm!
I look at it and wonder if I’m doing things right!
I look at it and all my brain wants to do is to say, “Uhmmmmm….???”
I haven’t really written anything worth talking about in a very long time. I think it was because after Post A Day 2011 finished, I lost the drive to write everyday…I stopped thinking about things to write about. Don’t get me wrong. I still wake up every morning thinking about what I should write about. I still feel that awful gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach when the day ends and I haven’t written anything on the blog.
I’ve got so many ideas about what I want to write about but everytime I start, I can’t seem to find the words, as if my thoughts won’t translate into anything sensible. Then I grow frustrated and switch off the computer.
So I’m writing down my frustration. I’m writing down that I’m unable to write anything sensible. I’m writing down something for the sake of writing something down in the hope that this might kickstart a writing frenzy or at least entice the writing muses to come back and play with me.
I’ve still got my writing projects to start on! Maybe I’m not blogging because my subconscious knows I should be working on my writing projects. Hmmm. Really, that’s just an excuse.
I should really be writing more.
I am irritated with my body!
I’ve just come from the doctors’ today. I had an appointment with the diabetic nurse today and I was expecting to get a gold star for being a good girl. I haven’t had rice in months in the effort to be healthier and to get my blood sugar count down.
But it wasn’t to be. My hbA1c has gone up 1.4% and that’s not good because I’m told that if I don’t get my blood sugar under control, the next step is to get insulin shots.
I’m really, really irritated because I feel like all my hard work and discipline have gotten me nowhere!