I stopped writing for a while because my hands needed a break.
For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome on both hands and after a series of treatments and tests, the doctors have deemed it necessary for me to undergo the carpal tunnel procedure. But in the weeks leading up to the surgery, my hands plagued me endlessly. I would come home from work sometimes in tears because my hands were hurting. To be honest, I was quite relieved that the diagnosis confirmed that there was something wrong with my hands. There were days when I would sit at my desk and wonder if the pain was just all in my head!
I decided to stop writing for a while. To get as much time to rest my hands as possible. I even stopped baking or cooking complicated dishes so that my hands wouldn’t have to work after work! It’s done me a lot of good, the resting.
I’ve had the operation and my hand is currently recuperating. The stitches have fallen off (they’re supposed to) and my hand is no longer as tender as it was. It’s still not 100% better but I think it’ll get there. I’ve taken away a new appreciation for my hands after this experience, and a deeper understanding of how important it is to listen to one’s body. Because, as kooky as it sounds, one’s body does talk. We just sometimes forget to listen to it.
I’ve had a chance to be quiet and just enjoy the quiet as well while recuperating. So I’ve got a few blog drafts waiting to be finished! Am looking forward to writing again.
For those of you who are a wee bit squeamish, here’s a warning: I will be blogging about the procedure soon!
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think, boy, would I love to win the lottery and just do what I love doing best: write my thoughts down (they might be worth just two cents but I’ve got a lot of thoughts so all those two-cent thoughts will add up!) and bake!
Then I remember that I live in the real world and while I do get lottery tickets once in a while, I never really win anything worth giving up the day job for.
I’ve been staying away from blogging because my hands have been plaguing me again. I rest my hands at night. I hate the fact that I’m becoming a couch potato but I still think that resting my hands is much better than losing the use of my hands completely. I’m due to get them sorted out soon which is a relief. Most people don’t like going under the knife, and I most certainly won’t relish the experience, but I think it’s mostly a relief that I know there really is something wrong with my hands and I know that this procedure will help relieve the pain and fix what’s wrong with them. I work, mostly, with my hands and my hands are the most important implement when I bake, so I’ll certainly be happy when they’re better.
I was looking online to see if there was a photo I could post to explain what was going to happen to my hands but most of them are gruesome and even though I’m not squeamish, I’d rather, really, not think about the procedure right now.
The procedure is 2 weeks away! I am already looking forward to the recovery!
I have been struggling with motivation that past few days. I am at my desk today and I just want to go home!
It hasn’t helped that I’ve been reading articles about work burnout and I am finding that I am ticking all the boxes and all the articles are saying that I’m on the verge of one. But then again, while I think I’m on the brink, I still wake up every morning, drag myself out of bed, pray, get ready for work and tell myself things will be okay.
Psychology Today says “[F]igure out what you want, power through the pain period and start being who you want to be.”
So that’s exactly what I’m going to do today. I’m going to sit here, do what I have to do because in the doing, I’m going to get where I need to be!
Today is shaping up to be…challenging.
It’s barely 9:30 and I’m at my desk feeling like I’ve forgotten so many things — my sensibilities and my brains among them!
I felt horrible when I woke up this morning. My hands hurt, despite being in splints most of the night last night. I was rushing around today because my hands were slowing me down (really must book that operation to have them sorted out sooner rather than later huh?). I thought I’d got myself properly sorted out — makeup done, hair done, the usual jewelry on, that sort of thing. But no, I forgot to put on my pearl studs! I’m the kind of person who needs to have earrings on or else I feel completely naked (I was worse before because I simply had to have earrings AND a watch on)! I have a system of getting ready you see: shower and hair washed, brush my teeth, moisturise (diabetics have to because we tend to have very dry skin), hair done, face cleaned, toned and moisturised, make up done, get dressed, earrings on, necklace on, watch on (no rings at the moment as my fingers are swollen and look like chipolatas because of the carpal tunnel syndrome). But today, I’ve just felt so out of sync.
It turns out, I’ve not just forgotten my earrings. I’ve forgotten my train tickets and bus tickets! Not really a good start to the day. I’ve got that shivery feeling inside me that has always told me that something’s going to happen today. Maybe it’s just paranoia (or the beginnings of a panic attack!). But I kind of feel like I’m going to fall apart today. My first instinct during times like these is to pray for strength, perseverance and the right frame of mind to tackle the day.
Here’s to hoping Thursday isn’t so terrible!
It’s a quiet but very sunny day.
I’m sitting at the registration desk that we’ve been running since Sunday and I feel sleepy. To be honest, am probably more tired than sleepy. It’s quiet, and there’s a lull in activity. I would probably give a lot to get the chance to curl up and take a quick (or not-so-quick) nap.
But that’s not possible when your job is to manage these events. Tomorrow night is going to be a long night! I always joke about the fact that my job is always in the way of me having a life. It used to be a joke, albeit prophetic, but now, I think it’s more a statement of fact!
Nope, not a paid advert. I promise!
Sometimes it’s just nice when you enter a competition for something and you get it. I love girly things and something nice arrived in the post today. I entered a competition to get samples of a new line of L’Oreal shampoos and conditioners. I was a teeny bit jaded about entering competitions like this, because, well, I never win! But my little package of joy came in the post today. What girly girl won’t appreciate beauty products, especially free ones? What was even lovelier was that they sent full-sized samples!
I can’t wait to try them later!
As the rest of the Christian world celebrates Ash Wednesday, I sit here at my desk trying to breathe in and out slowly. Am feeling very stressed today, you see.
I had a to-do list today, and a schedule. That’s gone down the drain. There are other stressors but those things, I’d rather not talk about. Even thinking about them is making me hyperventilate more!
Why won’t my Wednesday stick to the schedule! Argh!
Photo credit: Stress Paul Stress Ball – http://www.mindgamesdirect.co.uk