Valentine’s Day was a quiet affair. Mind you, this is not a complaint. I am really becoming ornery in my old age. I find that I prefer a quiet and steady life. Heavy on the quiet, generous on the steady. I find that I am learning to value stability and and routine more. I’m only in my mid-30s, God help me and whoever comes across me when I’m much older! I’m becoming quieter too. I’d rather sit in companionable silence rather than chatter away, as I used to. These days, I find people who talk too much irritating! Oh dear!
It was a dinner of lamb shanks with veg and horseradish mash (yes, for those of you in the know, it was that Tesco deal). But instead of a fizzy drink, because my blood sugar was inexplicably high last night, it was cups of milky tea and a glass of sparkling mineral water instead. I was given a lovely red box of my (absolute) favourite Guylian Belgian chocolate seashells (thank you Alan!), but diabetes prevented me from indulging last night. This will have to be saved until my next diabetes check up.
And now, my thoughts turn to love and all the mushy stuff. In so many ways, my views on love have always reflected what is written about love in 1 Corinthians 13: that love is patient, kind, that it does not envy or boast; nor is it proud; it does not dishonour others; it is not self-seeking or easily angered and it doesn’t keep record of wrongs; it doesn’t delight in evil and rejoices in the truth; and love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
I think my ideas about love and romance have changed. I still believe in fairy tales, and the happily ever afters. But I also know that love isn’t always fire and passion (don’t get me wrong, it can be, but you can’t sustain fire and passion ALL THE TIME or you’ll burn out!). Love isn’t the swashbuckling adventure high that some people think it is. Love isn’t the being together but the knowing you are part of a whole. As far as relationships go, I find that I don’t do needy people (except maybe my mum who demands that I make sure I email her as often as possible because she wants to know that I am all right. I remember once she kicked up a huge email storm because I hadn’t emailed her in two weeks–granted, I live on the other side of the world now, but still–BUT I DIGRESS!) and I find that I need my space. I find that the unspoken connection is enough for me and sometimes, too much communication is simply that, too much. And while I appreciate that there are times of high emotions, I don’t do drama and tears anymore.
Love inspires stillness, stability and affirmation that it is love and that it is right. Everything falls into place when love is right (actually when it isn’t the right kind of love, no matter how much you love, no matter how much emotion wells up inside you, no matter how much you fight for it, things will refuse to fall into place and you end up feeling like you’re hitting your head with a very large, very solid brick).
We should all be so blessed to find the right kind of love; the love that brings us the affirmation that our souls need, the love that strengthens us so that we are able to be patient, kind, not envious, boastful, or proud; not self-seeking and always honouring others; the love that will give us the courage to always trust and hope and the strength to persevere.