Breathe in, breathe out

20 Jun

Deep Breath by Melanie Weidner www.ListenForJoy.comI think it’s time to be honest.

I have a very quick temper (I think my brother and sister can attest to this) and it hasn’t served me well in several circumstances.  I’ve been known to recklessly respond to the urging of my temper and I can think of at least two instances when my temper has gotten the best of me that I will forever regret.  I can lash out and I can be dreadfully tactless when angry.  Those two instances make me alternately cringe in embarassment or pray that the recipients of my anger weren’t forever scarred (I have not quite allowed myself the comfort of writing to them and apologising, I will do, one day.  It’s not a matter of pride.  It’s just that I fear that I am not able to say the right things to convey how sorry I am for the things that I said in the heat of the moment.  And it’s even more embarassing that I don’t exactly remember everything I said.  I just remember the rush of anger and the knowledge that my tongue, when unchecked, can be deadly).

I was born in the year of the fire dragon.  While I don’t put much stock in horoscopes (Chinese or otherwise) it’s a quite interesting coincidence that the traits of people born in the year of the Fire Dragon are traits that I have.  I remember reading a year of the Fire Dragon booklet from my friend Rica and me going, “wow that is so me!”.  Fire dragons apparently “suffer from recklessness and quick tempers. Yet, when they do keep their temper, emotions, and rivaling spirit under control, they emanate a commanding influence on other people.”  I don’t know about the commanding influence on other people, but the recklessness and quick tempers is definitely right.  I am known to shoot off at the mouth when I’m angry and live to regret the consequences afterwards.

This is why one of my constant prayers is to ask the Lord to “let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth.”  These are words from a prayer that I’ve heard my mom pray over and over.  I’ve learned (from terrible experience) that I shouldn’t allow myself the luxury of letting my words ride the tide of my anger.  I’m learning to bite my tongue and think of how my words are going to come out.  When I feel a wave of anger (or hurt, or disappointment, or anything negative) I keep schtumm.  While it may prevent people from knowing exactly how I feel, I think it’s more important that I don’t hurt anybody first.  When I feel a wave of anger, I will simply keep quiet (most often times, I will turn away, take a few steadying breaths and try to smile).  If I am hurt, I will cry quietly and in private.  I always feel that distancing myself from the situation will always allow me think better and more rationally.  I’m not always given the opportunity to do this, but I am thankful for the times when I do remember to bite my tongue, shush for a minute and breathe.

When I get mad, I don’t get even.  I take a breath.  Taking deep steadying breaths are key.  Besides, inhaling and exhaling brings more oxygen into one’s brain and allows one to think clearly.


Deep Breath by Melanie Weidner


9 Responses to “Breathe in, breathe out”

  1. ceceliafutch 21 June 2011 at 12:10 #

    Wow… powerful post. Thank you for your honesty. We can ALL learn from this. Thank you.

    • Yelly 21 June 2011 at 18:10 #

      Awww bless! Thanks! That’s made me my day! 😀

  2. liz 21 June 2011 at 12:44 #

    i love the honesty you have in this post… you know taking deep breaths are exactly what was taught to us during a leadership seminar on how we can control our emotions – be it anger or nervousness… they said by focusing on deep breaths, you’ll learn to steady yourself and you’ll be in more control.

    • Yelly 21 June 2011 at 18:12 #

      When I was reviewing for science high school entrance exams, one piece of advice that stuck was when we were struggling to answer a question, we should take a deep breath to “oxygenate” our brain. I found it was advice I could apply in a myriad of situations, so I love to share it, because it does work! 😀

  3. Kronic Life 21 June 2011 at 14:37 #

    I love your mother’s prayer to “let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth”. It’s not my tongue that usually gets me in trouble, it’s my thoughts. Perhaps I should pray that my brain stick to the top of my head 🙂

    Thanks for this sincere and honest post,

    • Yelly 21 June 2011 at 18:16 #

      Hi Debi! I think it’s based on a passage in the bible. I also think my mom learned it from her mom who always said “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things” — that’s from Philippians 4:8 🙂 That might help you as much as it helps me 😀

  4. knotrune 22 June 2011 at 10:05 #

    Wise words, thanks.

  5. gmae 24 June 2011 at 00:44 #

    Sis! I can relate in so many ways! Praying for you, and pray for me too, okay? 🙂 Love you to bits 🙂

    • Yelly 24 June 2011 at 07:57 #

      You’re always in my prayers! Love you to bits back xxx 🙂

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