My commute to work is nothing but entertaining. Mind you there are days (most days really!) that I long for quiet, uneventful trips to the office. Because I’m on public transport, that is almost never possible. There’s always someone talking really loudly, there’s always an argument going on, and there are always bizarrely intractable people getting on and off public transport.
I woke up this morning feeling mildly better (I’m trying to avoid this cold that’s been threatening to invade my system for nearly a week now) this morning. It was slightly overcast, but it wasn’t raining so that in itself was a blessing. I managed to get ready (shower, hair—which takes at least 20 minutes to do now, after I had my haircut!–and make up–not that I slap on too much, mind, it’s just moisturizer, liquid foundation, eyeliner and lippy; can’t be bothered to put on mascara as I am liable to smudge it anyways, plus there was this segment on the One Show that talked about eyelash lice—DISGUSTING, I KNOW!) fairly quickly. The trek to the train station was fairly uneventful, save one or two last minute sidesteps because of irresponsible dog owners.
The train ride, which is usually something that I complain about, was unusually quiet. Coughy Woman (I call her that because she coughs all the time and doesn’t even bother covering her mouth when she does) and her husband were not on the train this morning. The Chatty Ladies (because they always sit together and DON’T stop talking) weren’t on the train either. Make-Up Lady (she puts on all her make up on the train! the transformation is amazing once she’s finished!), who usually sits with the Chatty Ladies was all quiet and seemed to be all made-up this morning. I guess she was missing the company of The Chatty Ladies.
So I get off the train, walk down the underpass to get to the bus stop where I get on a bus that takes me near the office. And my quiet Friday is shattered, into a tiny million pieces as there is DRAMA on the bus.
Mr Man (I call him this because he stands up tall—well, not very tall as he’s shorter than me and I’m only 5 feet 2.5 inches, and yes, the half inch is important!—and looks down his crooked nose at everyone—although, it’s not really looking down if everyone is taller than him, eh?) has a hissyfit on the bus! Bus driver stops at the bus stop behind another bus, that takes ages to start moving. Mr Man walks up to the driver and demands to know when the bus is leaving (how he could miss the other bus in front of us is beyond me!). Bus driver, and quite politely, I might add, says that he is unable to maneouver out of the bay because there is a bus in front of us. Mr Man asks why the bus driver won’t honk his horn at the other bus. Bus driver politely requests Mr Man to go back to his seat and said that he would go to speak to the driver of the other bus. But as bus driver gets out of his seat, the bus in front of us moves out of the bay, enabling us to get out of the bus stop bay as well (in my head I was thinking, Hurrah! Potentially uncomfortable situation averted! how wrong was I!)
Bus driver again tells Mr Man to go back to his seat. And for some reason, that repeated requests sets Mr Man off. He then starts accusing the bus driver of being ignorant, of being rude, of being ignorant, and says that it wasn’t the bus driver’s business whether he sat or stood. Bus driver says that he can’t move the bus if Mr Man doesn’t sit. So the ladies sitting in the back of the bus bravely jump into the conversation. Ms American asks Mr Man to “please sit down sir!” and Lady Grey Hair said that everything would be sorted out if Mr Man just sat down and we could travel. I think Mr Man was a tad embarassed that his error in judgement was being pointed out so he started on the women (I think he must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed today!). He was calling them busybody and he called them b****es! I was quiet horrified! The ladies were still very polite but the volume was quiet raised now. I was horrified that Mr Man had such a potty mouth (it reflected what he thought about women, with the kind of words that he was using against these women who were only trying to help him see reason?).
And Mr Bus Driver, being a responsible bus driver, stops the bus at the next stop and walks up to the arguing trio and asks if there was a problem. Mr Man starts on him again and starts calling him an ignorant idiot. And the argument just explodes. Mr Man just starts firing abuse left, right and centre! Mr Bus Driver, and quite rightly so, asks Mr Man to leave the bus. Mr Man does so but without stopping the swearing and the name calling.
And then all is quiet. In my head I was going “Whew! All this before 8:15 in the morning!”
Who says being on the commute is boring, hey?