Archive | November, 2010

Homesick

29 Nov

The holidays always get to me.

One reason I don’t go on Facebook as often around these dates is that I feel the little green monster called Envy creep up and bite me on the backside.  Most of the people I know who are also overseas are back in Manila to spend the Christmas holidays.  I want to be home as well!!!  If I were Dorothy Gale and I had the ruby slippers, I’d be clicking my heels away and wishing that I was home too!

Christmas is so different in the Philippines.  But I think what makes Christmas is the feeling of belonging that is always present because you are with family and friends.  I don’t mind the stress that comes with being too busy at Christmas.  Because all that hyperactivity on the run up to the big day is worth it.

I keep telling myself that soon I can do Christmas at home too.  Soon and very soon!  Fingers crossed!

Updates! Updates!

29 Nov

As bloggers go, I am probably one of the worst.  It’s not that I can’t post.  I’m just lazy.  I have an app on my phone so I can post on the go and I can always post when I can go online.  I’ve just been…well…lazy.

I was really ill the week after my last post.  I’m only just recovering and I’ve still got a lingering cough which has caused my voice to come and go.  I’m hoping I can get over this soon enough as I feel that my life is on hold until I’m well.  My gauge for being really ill is whether I have the desire to go online.  And the whole week I was ill, Facebook and Twitter held no therapeutic appeal.  I mostly just want to lie down.

I’ve missed so much!  I haven’t been to see the new Harry Potter film yet.  That’s another reason to avoid Facebook as it might be possible that my friends might post spoilers…although it’s not as if I don’t know what’s in the movie as I have read the book!

My Christmas shopping is nearly non-existent!  I have barely a month left!  I’m just glad my Manila gifts have been delivered!  That’s a weight off my shoulders!

I have 2 other entries to write so am going to try to strike while the iron is hot!

Writing for the sake of it

19 Nov

I read somewhere (probably on Twitter) that a wannabe writer should always write.

I’ve been absolutely remiss about all my writing projects and am taking myself to task.  Starting with the blogging.  I haven’t written anything in over a week!  My last entry was on 11 November.  I was making excuses in my head, that I wasn’t feeling well, that I was busy, blah, blah, blah.  But if I can find time to tweet, I can find time to write my thoughts!

So here I am.  Writing for the sake of it and exercising my writing muscles.  I really want to start writing the way I used to.  I was terribly busy then, and I found a way to write nearly every single day.  I can do that again.  As long as I stay committed and I work hard at it!

More lucid thoughts soon!

Arachnophobia

11 Nov

I have arachnophobia.  And it’s no joke.  I seriously cannot stand any kind of spider.  It doesn’t matter to me how big, small, fat or thin the spider is.  A spider is a spider is a spider.  Dead or alive.  I’m getting the heebee-jeebees just thinking about them.

Why did this come up, you might want to know (or might NOT want to know if you’ve got arachnophobia too)?  I had to store something in the bottom shelf of my lockable file cabinet and I was horrified to find something that looked very much like a dead spider.  I didn’t want anyone screaming the way I would if I’d discovered anything closely resembling an arachnid clinging to anything of mine.  Inwardly screaming bloody murder, I grabbed a used shopping bag to glove my hand with and I got a paper towel and grabbed the dead carcass.  It wasn’t a dead spider!  It was the exoskeleton of a spider that’s gotten bigger.

I am now having panic attacks knowing that there is a large-ish spider creepy-crawlying it’s way around my office!!!

Eat, Pray, Love: The Movie

7 Nov

I loved the book.  I absolutely loved the book!  It helped me through one of the toughest times in my life and helped me write a map out of the maze that I had landed myself in.  I had written down my thoughts in the copy of the book that I originally had.  After being lost in the maze, and after writing down my thoughts (I don’t think I’m being fanciful if I say that that book was bloodstained from my gut-spilling!), I was ready to find my way out of the haze that I was in.  I threw away that book.  I was ready to begin my life out of the maze.

Nearly 2 years on, I hear that a movie about Eat, Pray, Love was done and it had Julia Roberts was in it.  What more could a fan ask for, eh?  A movie based on the book that just about changed her life, and the central character played by an actress on her “People I Most Admire” list.  I heard (and read) a lot of negative press about the movie.  But that didn’t stop me from wanting to watch it.  It was more a contrary desire to see the movie more than anything.  Besides, a movie with Julia Roberts in it can’t be THAT bad!

I didn’t bawl or weep during the movie.  There were certain moments when I certainly got teary eyed and a tear rolled silently down my cheek (if you’re curious, it was that scene where Liz was praying to God in the bathroom.  I’ve had moments like that exactly, except they were more like Liz Gilbert’s in the book; it was gut-wrenching weeping, asking God to help me, to tell me what to do because I had no idea how in the hell I was going to get out of the situation I had landed myself in).  I knew exactly how that felt, and I certainly think that was how my prayers in the bathroom started.  Except I don’t think I did it as beautifully as Julia Roberts (there was toilet tissue and lots of snot involved!  Ewww! I know!).

If the movie was a book reader, it would be a skimmer–you know, someone who scans the book and stops at the interesting bits.  I understand that they had to have creative license, to make the movie more screenplay funny.  If you haven’t read the book, this would be a good introduction to it.

But my recommendation?  Read the book. I don’t really care how those naysayers say that the book was about a woman indulging her self-centred whims.  It’s about finding oneself.  I remember watching Elizabeth Gilbert being interviewed by Oprah (which is what started my search for the book in the first place!) and I remember her saying she didn’t profess to be an expert, that she just wanted to share her experiences, just in case it helps someone out.  I know she won’t read this.  But she has helped me a lot.  It helped to know that I wasn’t alone.  That I wasn’t the only one who went through feelings and thoughts like that.

I threw away the book after I’d written down all my thoughts during that really difficult time in my life.  I’ve bought a new copy and I’ve started reading it again.  And yet again, Elizabeth Gilbert’s story is touching my heart and touching my soul.

Channeling Darth Vader

5 Nov

I remember being told to breathe through one’s nose when one is having difficulty breathing (“one” talk makes me feel like I’m channeling The Queen!).  It does work and it does help when I have difficulty breathing.  I don’t have asthma, but sometimes when the air is thick with dust or pollen, it helps when someone actually tells me to breathe through my nose and breathe deeply and slowly.

We had the intruder alarms at work checked today .

I was dreading it because I knew the engineer would set off the alarms several times to test it.  I had a pounding headache at the time, so I really could’ve done without the noise 😦  The thing is, when I’m unwell, I’m generally irritable (I can be bitchy) and will pick on anything (again, bitchy).  I am, however, blessed with a healthy dose of self-preservation, so, even if I’m really, really irritated with someone, something inside me still stops me from picking a fight (unless of course I’m comfortable with you, and,  I’m ashamed to say members of my family have been victims of my irritability!  Soweeeee!).

So there I was suffering in silence, while the security alarm engineer set off the intruder alarm over and over (and over and over…) again.  Now there must’ve been a good explanation for it.  He was probably just being thorough (or a sadist!)  But apart from the constant alarm tripping, the man was having a hard time breathing through his nose.  I had to look up when he first walked into the hallway (YES! the hallway!!!) because I could HEAR him breathing even before I saw him!

So there I was, trying to concentrate on writing a report while the engineer went along fixing our alarms (accompanied by the requisite clatters and bangs and thuds and the irritating occasional annoyingly loud beeping of the intruder alarm).  Now, I’m grateful he’s come to fix the alarms (on the one hand, he should do as we do pay his firm enough money to fix these things!), but there several times when I had to bite my tongue really hard to stop myself from shouting at him to shut his mouth and breathe through his nose.  It was like I was this unwilling participant in telephone conversation with a heavy breather!  I wanted to tell him to stop channeling Darth Vader!

He managed to finish before I completely lost it (bless him!).  Apparently he has to come back to check the alarm system again next week.  He said that he has to bring another engineer with him because the repairs will apparently take two men to finish.  My first thought was, “Oh gawd, is he bringing Luke Skywalker with him?”

Yay!  It’s nearly home time now and I’ve been able to rant.  Irritation over!

Hopefully he just has a cold and it’ll go away and won’t be doing a Darth Vader impression when he returns with his sidekick next week!  Otherwise, I might just have to invest in earplugs!

Brain dead

4 Nov

The first 3 days of this week, I was like the Energizer Bunny.  I kept going, and going, and going, and going…well, you get the idea.  I kind of feel like I’ve run out of steam.  I’ve been staring at an email reply that I’ve been meaning to write for, maybe, 20 minutes but I can’t seem to find a way to start typing the words that I’m meant to say.  For that matter, I can’t seem to formulate some sort of reply.  It’s like my brain’s gone on weekend mode.  Not good.

So I’ve decided to take a break from work and de-stress.  The past few days have been hectic, to say the least.  Maybe if I step away from work for a little bit, I’ll be able to find my groove again.  I need to find my work zen again!